Two good days, and lots of complaining.
Mar. 9th, 2024 08:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lyornI know I meant to complain less. And things are not shitty all over. Basically there is exactly one personal (as opposed to state-of-the-world) thing with is extremely shitty and so annoying and omnipresent that I cannot write about the state of the Lyorn without complaining.
I had time off work the past week, and did, dunno, things. Went bouldering with R---, booked ferry, hotel, and night train for August, decluttered the wardrobe, got a new chest of drawers set up in the bedroom (much prettier), and applied for a choir workshop.
Yesterday I decided to drive over to the city to buy a Sudoku puzzle book. The things you do on a Deutschlandticket, when for less than 50 Euros a month you can use all public transport except for fast trains and long distance busses. But as the same day the train drivers were on strike again (feels like third time this winter, and I have Opinions about that), I bicycled 10 kilometres to the start of the tram line, and took the tram the rest of the way.
I got my Sudoku books, and bought some more books, and a shirt, and sweets, had lunch, and walked about 5K steps which made me worry about the next day, because my joints are mess and that much walking (Much. Hah. Six years ago this would have been barely worth putting on shoes for) usually means lots of pain for the next one or two days. But what the hell should I do? If I sit all day on the f***ing sofa, I will still be in pain. So I just do it and hope for the best while expecting the worst.
Bicycling back was nearly too much for my arm strength. This does not bode well for my plan to bicycle to work at least once a week when the weather is OK. I am extremely annoyed with myself and with every self-help book and article about joint pain, which advises, a) go to a doc early (they will tell you that they cannot do anything), b) move more (how the fuck should I if I cannot move because I am in pain and working through the pain makes it worse?) c) lose weight (yeah, sure. I'm underweight for my age), d) take NSAIDs (I'd love to, but I should not because other health issues - I limit myself to one every three days). "Nothing to be done" is bad enough. Every publication and know-it-all shouting idiotic useless advice really gets my goat.
Today, however, was not as bad as feared once I made it out of bed. I took the car into town, got plants for the balcony, and even managed to plant them. Two of the pots have been taken over by plants that really want to be there: In one case, young poplars! Now I have added one pot with horned violets and daisies, one with blue and white bellflowers and an errant horned violet, and one with Asian ranunculus, which are poisonous, but they are out of reach for Tully the Tabby, and he prefers grass anyway.
Tully is still alive and active and a very sweet cat. He wants his food, and his playtime, and his cuddles. He has also lost a bit of weight, but nothing alarming yet.
One of the books I bought yesterday was about "How to retire at 45 or 55 or 63", and had lots of info about things like taxes, health insurance, retirement pay, withdrawal plans and the like. I wonder if I might not already qualify for partial disability, which would mean some extra income, and a lowered retirement age.
It's weird. "Not having to work anymore" was something I wanted all my life -- until I suddenly found myself able to do it due to an inheritance. Now, I am afraid to. What if I miscalculated, or forgot something important? Will I find complex and interesting problems to solve if I'm not working, or only stupid banalities and conundrums? And what is all that free time worth anyway if everything I want to do hurts (including sleeping in), quite often so much that I'm not doing it? And also: There are very few people who can do my job. (Imagine a COBOL programmer in the late 1990s.) So if I quit, my already overworked co-workers and my very fair and supporting boss will be left holding the bag. (Yes, I know it's not my fault that we have industrial scale lifecycles for our machines and need to support 30+ year old code!)
I suspect I am waiting for my employer to give me an excuse to leave. Don't think it will happen, though.
I had time off work the past week, and did, dunno, things. Went bouldering with R---, booked ferry, hotel, and night train for August, decluttered the wardrobe, got a new chest of drawers set up in the bedroom (much prettier), and applied for a choir workshop.
Yesterday I decided to drive over to the city to buy a Sudoku puzzle book. The things you do on a Deutschlandticket, when for less than 50 Euros a month you can use all public transport except for fast trains and long distance busses. But as the same day the train drivers were on strike again (feels like third time this winter, and I have Opinions about that), I bicycled 10 kilometres to the start of the tram line, and took the tram the rest of the way.
I got my Sudoku books, and bought some more books, and a shirt, and sweets, had lunch, and walked about 5K steps which made me worry about the next day, because my joints are mess and that much walking (Much. Hah. Six years ago this would have been barely worth putting on shoes for) usually means lots of pain for the next one or two days. But what the hell should I do? If I sit all day on the f***ing sofa, I will still be in pain. So I just do it and hope for the best while expecting the worst.
Bicycling back was nearly too much for my arm strength. This does not bode well for my plan to bicycle to work at least once a week when the weather is OK. I am extremely annoyed with myself and with every self-help book and article about joint pain, which advises, a) go to a doc early (they will tell you that they cannot do anything), b) move more (how the fuck should I if I cannot move because I am in pain and working through the pain makes it worse?) c) lose weight (yeah, sure. I'm underweight for my age), d) take NSAIDs (I'd love to, but I should not because other health issues - I limit myself to one every three days). "Nothing to be done" is bad enough. Every publication and know-it-all shouting idiotic useless advice really gets my goat.
Today, however, was not as bad as feared once I made it out of bed. I took the car into town, got plants for the balcony, and even managed to plant them. Two of the pots have been taken over by plants that really want to be there: In one case, young poplars! Now I have added one pot with horned violets and daisies, one with blue and white bellflowers and an errant horned violet, and one with Asian ranunculus, which are poisonous, but they are out of reach for Tully the Tabby, and he prefers grass anyway.
Tully is still alive and active and a very sweet cat. He wants his food, and his playtime, and his cuddles. He has also lost a bit of weight, but nothing alarming yet.
One of the books I bought yesterday was about "How to retire at 45 or 55 or 63", and had lots of info about things like taxes, health insurance, retirement pay, withdrawal plans and the like. I wonder if I might not already qualify for partial disability, which would mean some extra income, and a lowered retirement age.
It's weird. "Not having to work anymore" was something I wanted all my life -- until I suddenly found myself able to do it due to an inheritance. Now, I am afraid to. What if I miscalculated, or forgot something important? Will I find complex and interesting problems to solve if I'm not working, or only stupid banalities and conundrums? And what is all that free time worth anyway if everything I want to do hurts (including sleeping in), quite often so much that I'm not doing it? And also: There are very few people who can do my job. (Imagine a COBOL programmer in the late 1990s.) So if I quit, my already overworked co-workers and my very fair and supporting boss will be left holding the bag. (Yes, I know it's not my fault that we have industrial scale lifecycles for our machines and need to support 30+ year old code!)
I suspect I am waiting for my employer to give me an excuse to leave. Don't think it will happen, though.
