Jun. 11th, 2017 02:58 pm
lyorn: (Default)
I went to be boulder hall with the usual gang today -- first time since the accident in August last year, and found that while strength was not too bad and there hadn't been much skill to lose anyway my nerve was not what it used to be. My original plan was "do the very easy routes only", which I found I could only do with the easy easy routes. So I changed that to "finding the easiest easy route and practise jumping down backward and landing safely". I felt like I was courting disaster, and it is amazing how high the pulse can get doing nothing but climbing up and jumping down four steps, but it helped a bit. Then I climbed some of the easy easy routes and considered that good enough for day one.

Yesterday, I bicycled into the city, which is about 38 km there-and-back-again, with an annoying steep hill of modest 50 meters right at the end (resp. the beginning). Which took me a while, but went OK. I need to make use of the days with no thunderstorms!

Swimming goes peachy. I started the season with 2 km in 65 minutes, continued to 2 km in 60, and have also done leisurely 2,8 km in 90 minutes. Maybe having gained some weight helps (I think that I'm looking fat on the holiday pictures from April. Chalk it down to mild body dysmorphia.) But I'm dead tired after swimming -- I need to sleep for an hour, and when waking, I can hardly move. Still, I expect that to get better, and it's a vast improvement over the years where I started the season with 1 km.

So what's missing? Yes, strength training. Attempting to find a time slot for that.
lyorn: (Default)
although it is extremely irrelevant in the larger picture...
cut for food/body issues )
lyorn: (Default)
The commute is doing me no good. The situation at work is doing me no good. I'm cold and tired all the time. I feel that I eat enough, yet I am always desperately hungry for sugar. Several times this week my hands were shaking so hard I could not use a cell phone unless I braced it on my knees. I am moody and I have the mental resilience of a soap bubble. I behave like a drama queen and I just cannot stop myself. Read more... )
lyorn: (Default)
Or, things to get rid of, and not.

Read more... )
  • Clutter: I finally got rid of the ten metres of chicken wire which had been filling half of my junk room. And sold a Levis jeans throuh ebay. As long as I have boxes and packing paper to get rid of, ebay seems cost neutral, when the boxes and the paper are gone I'll return to donating the stuff as donating won't lose me money. I also have an appointment at the second hand shop to see if the clothes I brought in June have sold.
    It seems that the great liberating blow against clutter cannot be done (the flea market thing left me with more clutter than I had before), so I now go at it one item at a time, but at least two a week.

  • And I'll be baking cakes on the weekend. Which might coincide with the return of hot weather. We'll see.
    lyorn: (Default)
    Over the last three months, I have not shrunk one clothing size. Which is remarkable, as I have near-consistently done so over the previous seven quarters. It's also a good thing, because there's losing weight and there's feeling like a character in a King novel. I'm slowly becoming somewhat calmer about that whole thing. Now, if I could get my brain back into the gear it's supposed to be in, and my attention span back up to that of an overripe grapefruit, that would be very nice.
    lyorn: (Default)
    I cannot comment on this without creating a google account, which I do not plan on doing.

    So I'll just sit here and bang my head on the desk.

    Diet talk

    Aug. 16th, 2010 01:49 am
    lyorn: (Default)
    We had tea and cake again today (recipes soon), and for no good reason at all got into diet talk. Which is a hot button issue for me. As in, I can do it for hours, but I regret every single minute of it while they are happening, and I become far more angry and frustrated that I ever should be at any endeavor I'm not getting paid for.

    Cut for, you guessed it, diet talk )
    lyorn: (Default)
    I'm going through my wardrobe again, and it breaks my heart to throw out (i.e. give to charity) stuff that is hardly worn, brand-name, good quality, great looking, only three sizes too large.

    Keep it, for when the weight comes back?
    Give it to charity?
    Try to sell it to a second-hand store?
    Spam all my friends if they want it?

    Just in case, does anyone want:

    • black linen trousers, size 48 [about 38 inches waist]

    • grey-beige linen trousers, size 46, long [about 36 inches waist]

    • an eggshell silk/cotton blouse size 50 [about 46 inches bust]

    • black comfy mostly wool trousers (elastic waistband) size 48

    • happily-striped seersucker blouse/tunic, mostly orange/white/blue, size 50

    • dead-elegant with a side of goth black velvet ankle-length skirt and long-sleeved jacket, size 44/46

    • green-grey tweed-looking blazer, size 50

    • Levis 527 (boot cut), pale blue, W34, L30

    ETA: It's done. Two more boxes marked for "going out" (I listed only the really good things above, not the 25 Euro four-years-old-but-OK stuff). I am now in the land of abundant clotheshangers and half-empty wardrobes. Among the "going out", but not in a box are the Big Cat Memorial T-Shirts, which have the kinds of holes that happen when you cuddle an enthusiastic, sharp-clawed, 15 lbs cat that loves you very much. Putting so much cotton which should be recyclable in the trash makes me unhappy.
    lyorn: (Default)
    OK, I give up. Clothes shopping is breaking the budget this year. I hit the stores again today. My feeble excuse is that my jeans have now gone from a casual look to a circus clown one, and my last "looks kind of OK, I guess" blazer might make a good overcoat in autumn. I'm going to put it into the budget as an emergency. Also: Jeans. Size 40. 40. I mean, 40. WTH?

    Today was the Friday after a public holiday (Ascension/Father's Day), which many people use to take a day off. (So did I.) Accordingly, the city had planned some stuff, like extended shopping hours, markets, food stalls, this kind of things. But as it was cold (12°C) and drizzling (the sky always looked as if it would stop soon, but it never did), the town was not as busy as I had feared. On the square behind the New Town Church was a French (and Swiss and Belgian) food market, which sold cheeses, sausages, olives, wine, butter cookies, Belgian chocolates and freshly-made Alsacian "Flammkuchen" (imagine a thin pizza bottom, cover with creme fraiche or sour cream, put onions and lots of bacon on, bake in wood stove over flame). I spend a lot of time sampling everything and trying to remember bits of my French as most of the sellers did not speak much German. I don't speak much French, but I enjoyed hearing it.

    The one thing I still did not get anywhere was coriander leaves. I've had enough, I'm going to make that potato-lentil curry that I've wanted to try out for four weeks now without them. Maybe use parsley instead? Or coriander seeds?

    I also did not get or order K___'s book, because the book store had a computer breakdown and could not look up or order anything.
    lyorn: (Default)
    As I've been doing some exercise now I have started to look around for what people are writing, and occasionally crunch some numbers. Which is not good for my blood pressure. (Although, what is not good for one's blood pressure in general is probably good for mine, because mine needs some raising.)

    Cut for exercise, weight and fail which might really spoil a person's day )

    Related: Why Everything's Harder Than You Think.
    lyorn: (Default)
    Yesterday I went clothes shopping, and today I went through my wardrobe, doing the usual spring decluttering: Removing everything that does not fit, that is too damaged to wear it even in the house, that I'm tired of, or that I just don't wear anymore.

    Both went well. I got everything I was looking for: Green jeans, a light summer jacket, and a red top for the choir. I also bought a role playing game sourcebook, some chocolate Easter eggs, a jean waistcoat, and three bras to fit my new shape. Decluttering produced three boxes full of clothes that do not fit me anymore, and that need to be given to charity, or to people who will like them.

    Three boxes. All my smart trousers? Drop when I am not holding them up with both hands. The wide summer shirts? Fall off my shoulders. The woollen winter coat that I rarely wear? Large enough for two of me. Most of the jeans, fortunately, still fit, thanks to the habit of buying them so tight that I can just barely squeeze in, and the fact that I found a belt in the back of the wardrobe that will do as soon as I punch two new holes in it. The linen trousers from last year have drawstrings. Most of the tops are now really loose, but it looks like it's intended that way.

    I do not feel three sizes thinner (though not "thin", not even the prescriptive "average"). I feel just the same, only, I'm not. Being fat had become a part of my identity, a part that I didn't especially like, but trained myself out of the habit to freak out about. It was just The Way Things Were. And now they aren't.

    People notice. They noticed at my party, they notice in the choir. I cannot lie convincingly anymore and claim that it's an illusion, a good day, a trick of memory, well-fitting clothes, or heels. Everytime someone says, "wow, you've lost weight" I want to swamp them with my self-doubt and issues, but I always remember my manners in time, and only say, "yes", or "yes, I've been doing a lot of strength training last year".

    So I'll swamp my LJ instead. Maybe it will declutter my brain.

    Cut for a swamp of TMI, old history, and angsting )
    lyorn: (Default)
    I seem to have lost some serious weight -- I don't have scales, but I know that I have lost some serious centimetres. In March I bought trousers, #1 was "OK, a little tight around the waist, maybe", #2 was "too tight to sit down in, but I'll be going on vacation in May so it will be fine then". In January, going to the opera, I wore my "looks great" jeans, and they were so tight in the waist that I regretted it halfway through the second act.

    Today I noticed that it's a good thing summer trousers #1 have a drawstring, or they'd fall off me. "Looks great" jeans have been my comfy jeans all summer.

    The "buttons are straining" shirts are slowly unstraining.

    So, that's one to two clothes sizes down.
    Which is nice.
    Kind of.

    Only, I have been extremely stable in size for the last nine years. (After recovering from the Horrible Winter where I propped up my sanity with lots of pasta.) So this is a little strange, too. No idea if it will stay that way, or change again, or go further down, or whatever.

    Also, when my mother sees that, you can bet Betan dollars to sand that the truce we had about food will be over. She's coming to visit in two weeks. Won't that be fun.

    I think I'll try just lying.

    (To all those who don't know me personally, not to overrate this whole drama: I'm still fat. Just somewhat less so.)


    Apr. 18th, 2009 02:06 am
    lyorn: (Default)
    This is a little embarrassing, but I'm so frustrated that I need to whine.

    I have this secret and highly ambitious goal of being, one day, able to jog one whole kilometre without intervals of walking to catch my breath, regain control of my balance and wait for the pain to go away. I could do it when I was eleven -- before puberty, chocolate and the lack of sports bras made 100 metres long-distance for me.

    So I check the internet for advice on how to best get from here to there without keeling over dead or something equally unpleasant. And every one, every single page says, "don't run so fast that you would not be able to carry on a conversation", and "start with running for two minutes, then walking", and "keep your pulse in this-and-that range."

    Which makes me go, WTF?

    There is literally no jogging speed so slow that I could carry on a conversation doing it. When I was 16, jogging two kilometres took me 35 minutes (walking would have taken 20), and I would not have been able to carry on a conversation for any part of it. (That was in gym class. I got sent home afterwards for coughing my lungs out. Took me days to get my breath back.) These days, to keep jogging at any speed for two minutes, I need a good day, and four weeks of training beforehand. And going by the pulse frequency I get on a crosstrainer on half that effort, it's probably forty to fifty over what is recommended.

    Well, one plan says, "start with walking 30 minutes". Yeah, I can do that. I can walk 30 minutes, or 60, or 240, or the whole day, no problem. I just cannot run.

    This sucks.


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